OK, perhaps I was a little too one-sided about that rabbit thing. So to be fair, here’s the story from the rabbit’s point of view:
- I’m a prey animal. My whole life is about exploring my environment so thoroughly that if threatened (and generally speaking, everything is threatening to a rabbit) I know every hidey-hole within my entire range and how to get there the fastest, safest way possible.
- I’m a pet store product, so I’m not as easily startled by things that would terrify my woodland relatives. My new human family tells me I should be more respectful of this “Simon” thing, but I can’t really bother. It’s on the other side of this prison, for one thing, and I can tell by the puny back legs that it’ll never make it over the top no matter how tall it is. It’s not allowed in this room without humans around, so during my escape escapades I’m perfectly safe. Besides, I know all the hidey-holes in this room and how to get there the fastest, safest way possible.
- Humans are suckers for my nose, my tail, and wacky behavior. All I have to do when I hear conversation about my future that isn’t favorable is run up to to the bars, sit up, poke my nose through and wiggle. They come running. Just looking at my tail can even do it. I save the wacky behavior thing for more serious events. Like the day I escaped three times and ate a big hole in the brand new bag of duck food; I had to do the wacky behavior thing several times before I knew my future was secure again. Humans call this “binking” and it’s easy — you just jump up in the air, twist your body into at least three different directions at one time, flop your ears, and dash around the pen. It works every time. Humans are pretty easy to train, actually.
- When I’m sleepy, which is mostly all the time except early morning (around dawn) and early evening (dusk), I feel so safe here that I just stretch out in plain sight and doze off. I do make it a point to wake up when a human comes into the room, though, and do one of those cute things they like so much. You never know when an apple tree branch, complete with tender new leaves and delicious blossoms, will come your way.
- I should also mention that the Simon is easy to manage, too. Rabbits haven’t survived in the wild without learning anything; I’ve discovered that rushing directly at it, even though there are nice secure bars between us, seems to scare it. It’s a heck of a lot of fun.
Ah, the life of a house bunny …