My human took off for five days last week. She should know by now that I find leaving me here to my own devices offensive. OK, I admit that at least twenty-two hours a day are occupied with sleeping. And when she’s gone Smooch comes over to visit. Still … leaving me to sleep all by myself is right up there with working on the computer rather than playing with me—definitely unacceptable human behavior.
Any decent cat would communicate a sense of outrage, right? Well, of course. The only question is how to go about it. Clearly this was an opportunity to grasp, and if I thought about it long enough, I could probably get the message across that both leaving me and choosing computer work over me are insults to the sensitivities of a cat that has deigned to take up residence with a human.
Got it. If I save up a snack or two, I’ll bet they would just pop right down there inside that printer. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
[Day 6] She’s home. And working on the computer. I wish she’d try to print something.
[Day 8] She’s left again. The plan hasn’t worked yet. Maybe there aren’t enough snacks down there. I’ll sacrifice a few more.
[Day 10] She’s back and at the computer. Oh, boy, she’s printing … aaaaannnd … YESSSSSSS!! The paper jammed. But humans are a little slow—she thinks cleaning the rollers will fix it.
[Day 10, 30 minutes later] It’s taken her this long to discover one of my little gifts. I’ll give her credit, though. The first thing she said was to me. It wasn’t all that nice, but she was definitely heading in the right direction.
[Day 10, 30 more minutes] Well, she finally found all six of them. Five landed in places the printer didn’t care about, but one sure hit the sweet spot. Frankly, I was a bit surprised at some of her language. I mean, she’s a nun and all. Oh, well, she’s definitely on my wavelength now.
Moral: life with a human can provide endless entertainment for a wise and patient cat.
[A note from CG: Perhaps I should add “less computer work” and “pet the cat more” to my Lenten discpline.]